Sunday, June 16, 2013

Cheers to you, Ed

He always only answers texts with an "OK".
He watches Fox News and golf all summer, football all winter.
He doesn't get technology, but he sure gets mad when the internet crashes.
He reads 1,000+ page books on the Civil War and World War II.
He watches Patton when he's stressed about something.
He hates tattoos.
He loves gardening.
He spends more time on the phone than off it.
He gives flashlights and jumper cables as gifts.
He gives directions to everywhere and sometimes reads the atlas for fun.
He has used his library card once.
He can't cook to save his life but knows his way around a grill.
He likes his steak medium-well.
He eats raw pasta.
He'll drive three hours to swap cars with you so you can get back to school on time.
He conducts the Boston Pops on TV every 4th of July with a wooden spoon.
He has over 10 pairs of reading glasses, and loses all of them.
He has run over a cell phone with a tractor.
He didn't go to Clemson, but has season tickets to Tigers football games.
He's always up for a game of Monopoly, or Scrabble, but hates Jenga.
A car ride with him is like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
He is quizzed monthly on the names and locations of his daughter's friends.
He always fails those quizzes.
He never loses his cool, except for when he does.
He's always good for ten bucks.
He's spending this Father's Day loading 450 bales of hay onto a trailer.
He's allergic to hay.
He does it anyway.

His only advice is "exercise proper behaviour".
It works for every situation.

Happy Father's Day to the chillest dad around.

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