Scarf: Target | Cardigan: Ralph Lauren via Dani at DIYFATSHION | Top: Target | Skirt: Boden | Heels: Urban Outfitters
I have been trying very hard to photograph this skirt for the blog. I've worn it a ton since I got it, and it has just never been photographed. So not fair! But here it is, in all its crowning glory.
In other news, the FAIR is in town, and my friend dragged me off for a trip to the fair. We partially went to see what we could lay claim to for next year (her, banana bread and cornbread; me, pumpkin spice cookies, apple pie and possibly some sort of embroidery), but also for funsies. She forced me to eat a fried Oreo (first time/last time), and we went to a petting zoo where I made friends with a yak (a YAK!!!!). We saw piglets and a giant parrot seemed really fascinated with my face for some reason but the alpaca was terrified of me. The yak was definitely my fave though.
She also made me go on a ride, which did not go well. I do not like rides much at all--no fast no upside down no backward etc.--but she loves them, so we compromised and went on those giant swings that go up a pole and swing around really fast. It was terrifying and I did not like it but I'm not dead, so at least there's that. Next time I'm sticking with the Ferris wheel.
Dress: Boden | Belt: Target | Heels: Urban Outfitters | Lips: NARS Annabella
This DRESS, y'all. I've wanted this dress since it showed up on Boden's website months ago, when it was $168. (Not. Joking.) When it finally went on sale for half off, I thought FINE, I'll get it. You have convinced me, Boden! So I ordered a size down (my usual Boden size) and it was ENORMOUS. I almost never feel small due to clothing, but the entire thing was two inches two big. Weak. So back it went and I decided not to switch out on sizes, since it just wasn't worth it to me to keep sending dresses back and forth looking for the right fit. So out of sight, out of mind it went.
Until last week, when Boden sent me an email that some of their clearance items had been marked down to 80% off. And this dress was one of them! $33.60. Whoaaaaaa. You can safely assume that I broke down and ordered the next two sizes down to find the right dress size, and obviously things worked out, since I am now wearing this dress. BAM.
Also: ew. I need a haircut so badly, y'all. It's time to break out the scissors.
Necklace: Kate Spade | Top: Target | Skirt: Target | Heels: Urban Outfitters
We need to talk. Or more importantly, Abigail van Buren and I need to talk.
Today's article for Dear Abby included a letter writer who wanted advice on how to deal with her mother, who is uncomfortable with how the author, who is overweight, dresses around the house. Abby's response, to say the least, was devastating. I'm not quoting the letter or the response here because of possible copyright issues, but I urge anyone who reads this blog and respects me as a human (instead of a fatty fat who won't stop eating god get over it and eat some lettuce, etc.) should read the letter, and then read this:
The only word that can truly describe Abby's response is "presumptuous", and the only word that can truly describe my response is "disappointed". I agree with the first half of Abby's response--when you're in someone else's home, you have to respect their wishes. If someone wants you to take your shoes off, you take your shoes off, right? Even if it's your mom (hell, ESPECIALLY if it's your mom) you do what she says.
HOWEVER.
Abby's additional paragraph noting that the writer's mom would be prouder if she basically got off her ass and did something about losing some weight is what is called "fat shaming". This was noted by many in the comments, which mostly call Abby out on her sanctimoniousness and the lack of necessity to discuss the writer's weight. Dealing with your mom does not equal dealing with your weight. I've had my fair share of arguments with my mom over my weight and what I wear, though mostly this was when I was younger and struggling to dress myself; my mom wanted me to wear colours and dresses. All I wanted to wear was baggy jeans and hoodies that made me look even larger than I already was, or clothing that was way too small because I didn't know there were other options. (I think we're both happier now that I've accepted colours and dresses as my general dress code!) However, those were arguments that danced around much deeper situations, which is how a lot of daughters fight with their moms. And as a side note, my mom was disgusted by Abby's response.
Abby has no knowledge of the writer's personal health, whether or not she has medical issues, or perhaps even is overweight but it's ALL muscle. (Most NFL linebackers are considered obese, but most of them are also in excellent shape.) Some diseases and disorders make it nigh impossible to lose weight. Perhaps the writer has already lost 100 pounds and is really proud of her accomplishment, and Abby's cutting her down is going to give her a complex. We have no idea. What disturbs me most, though, is that as a longtime Dear Abby reader, I know Abby has always supported and advocating for being oneself and fuck the rest. Especially when it comes to LGBTQ rights and women's rights, Abby has been firmly in the corner of supporting everyone equally and treating all people with respect. However, this comes as an extreme slap in the face: for those of us who read Dear Abby and are not normally sized, this comes across as "you're fat so you're subhuman and you deserve to only make other people happy instead of yourself". And that is deeply disturbing.
Fat shaming--which involves making a person feel bad about his or her weight, either directly or indirectly--is wrong. ANY body shaming ("You're too thin! You need a burger!") is wrong. Flat out. We are all human. We all have emotions. We all have bodies, which are absolutely fascinating things and the fact that they work day in and day out to keep us alive should be celebrated, regardless of how said body looks. At the end of the day, our bodies should not be fodder for anyone else. We should be concerned with only ourselves and our happiness, and however it comes. Relying on someone else's happiness, as Abby suggests the letter writer should do with her mother, is crude, disturbing, and completely off the mark. And at the end of the day, the only business anyone should be into is his or her own. I'm not going to ask a stranger about his or her finances or sex life, right? So why the fuck is it cool do do that with weight? Being overweight, or underweight, or black, or white, or having tattoos, or having blue hair, or being pregnant, does not mean that one's body has become open season for discussion. It should never be that way.
I can only hope that Abby takes the time to read the comments on her response (and the letter I wrote her) and reconsiders her response and what she actually said. No one wants to read Dear Abby if Abby's going to be harsh. If you want that, you need to go read Carolyn Hax instead.
Cardigan: Target | Top: J.Crew Factory | Skirt: Talbots | Heels: Urban Outfitters
Summer has been hectic, to say the least; this was my first year at work kind of having control of our adult summer reading program, which was an encompassing program that covered all ten of our branches and involved a lot of work to put together--not that I'm complaining, because I love summer reading and I'm VERY proud of the program & how it came together. But it's kept me very busy! There are days where my boss and I will go home and she'll text me and say "are you as tired as I am?" and the answer is almost always yes. And although summer reading is over, there are still statistics to compile, reports to write, debriefing to do...and then my boss is going on sabbatical for a month. And my coworker (and my very good friend) C. has moved to Atlanta to pursue her Ph.D. in English literature. I cried when she told me she was leaving, and I'm crushed to see her go, but the amount of pride that I have for her makes my heart glow like a neon sign in the desert.
This is also my first summer in a very long time with a boyfriend. (I know you're all chomping at the bit to hear more about him, and I promise I'll do a post about him soon!) It's made things harder--we are technically long distance, although he lives a two hour drive away instead of a two hour flight away, like my last boyfriend did. We see each other most weekends, and sometimes even during the week. Having him to rely on for support when I need it has been amazing, but I've felt a bit of a struggle between the life I've had for the last three years of hanging out with my friends and doing whatever I want & the life I have now--the one where I actually have to consider what someone else wants. I've been on the road a lot since February, when we first started dating, replacing curling for the most part with visiting my boyfriend. We will, hopefully, not be so far apart for TOO much longer, but my time has been taken away from other things...like spending half an hour taking pictures of myself in an abandoned parking lot.
But oh, when I get the chance to take those photos of myself, how I cherish it. Right now, it's about the only time that I'm truly alone. A lot of my friends now will probably tell you I'm extroverted, but it's not exactly true--I like to be social and active, but I need a lot of time to unwind and separate from the world, and I don't get to do that very often. I miss the chance to document what I wear, and to be honest, I'm going to be repeating some outfits in the future so I can photograph them for the blog. I miss manipulating my camera, experimenting with framing, and being the only model I'll never have full control over. And most of all, I miss all of you. Having people who understand what it's like to do this silly thing where we take pictures of what we wear and put them online for other people to look at is essential to having the motivation to keep coming back, and I always get that from y'all. And you have no idea how much I appreciate it.
And also I'm really lazy, but I can get over that. The point of all of this is to explain myself, I guess, but also to just verify that I'm going nowhere. My priorities in life have shifted some, from school and curling to work and boyfriend, but none of it matters if I'm not wearing clothing. I'll keep wearing clothing, and I'll keep documenting it whenever I can. Like this outfit...for which I got the daylights bitten out of me by noseeums, but it was worth it.
