Top: J. Crew Factory | Tank: Eddie Bauer | Skirt: JCPenney | Wedges: Target | Band aid: Band-Aid
I have spent the last three weeks covered in lesions of various sizes. You can't see them because they are only on my torso. Every week they have seemed to get worse, more numerous, more flaky and itchy. Being the mild alarmist that I am (that we all are these days), I did a little Googling and OHMYGODIT'SBEDBUGS. I tore my bed apart, looking for the slightest sign of bed bugs, but nothing. I slept in the guest room last night after panicking and thinking I was being eaten alive, but after being unable to sleep, I finally retreated to my bed and fell asleep immediately. I went to the doctor this morning, ready to hear that I would die from being smothered by a giant bed bug, but GOOD NEWS! It isn't bed bugs! It is instead a "plain old infection" known as pityriasis rosea, an annoying but harmless viral infection of the skin that causes these suckers. Oddly enough, it generally occurs in young people from 10 to 35, so watch out, gang. It's coming for you, and there is literally nothing you can do but ride it out and put some antihistamine cream on it when it gets itchy. I might be wearing exclusively cotton for the next few weeks.
But, I mean. Still way better than bed bugs.